All things marriage
social.group.members
Marriage is half our Deen 🤲 From wedding planning to relationship and marriage advice, share all your marriage related experiences here with our friendly community ❤️
Honestly, why is it so hard to find the right partner nowadays? Whether in real or virtual life... Is true commitment and shared values becoming a legend, or are we just looking in the wrong places? 🤔
Came across a post where someone had given up on the idea of marriage.
It got me thinking (more than normal).
To those who passed the "sweet spot" of marriage and ever increasingly resigned to life where they may never marry, what are your contingency plans for later life?
What I mean by that is, what are your plans for growing old alone? Has anyone prepared for long term care, medical assistance, finances, support network etc.
Things men need from their wives but shouldn’t have to ask for them:
• Intimacy • Cheering for him in public and in private • Random physical displays of affection • Saying “thank you and I trust you” • Choosing him over attention from others
Wives who master these without him having to ask for it have husbands who can’t wait to go home and give them the world.
If I dont want to marry a woman back home i.e. not British born, and only want to marry a virgin woman, as I want to have the first experience with a woman of same status.
But im 34yrs old virgin man, and many people are saying women like many men in late 20s or in their 30s are divorced or have had previous intitmate relationships, hence such women looking for a man with experience for marraige, then im pretty much at a critical disadvantage?
Allah Hu Akbar
Jazakallah Khair - I have finally realised something after decades of navigating life as a Muslim in the UK.
I grew up with a certain understanding of deen, one that was shaped by both the texts and the lived reality of a Western context. Over the years, I have tried, in good faith, to engage with Muslim women - not to belittle, not to dominate, but to present what I believe are clear facts derived from our tradition and common sense. My intention was always sincere: to open a door to a reality I thought was self-evident.
But time and again, I hit a wall.
The Prophet (p.b.u.h) said: “Treat women kindly, for woman was created from a bent rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is its top. If you try to straighten it, you will break it; if you leave it alone, it remains bent. So treat women kindly.”
I have come to see that this “bend” is not a flaw-it is a feature. It is a disposition, a nature that refuses to be forced into a shape it was not designed for. [However the previous generation of women did mold , understand, comprehend, reflect and did bend to the wishes of others and especially their life partner ❤️ ]
When I present facts - grounded in scripture, history, and observation of a few decades of study and work - I notice that the response is rarely a direct engagement with the substance. Instead, 90% of what I say is ignored. The rest is met with deflection, mischaracterisation, or outright name-calling. There is no bending. There is no acknowledgment of the weight of the argument.
And so I have decided to stopped trying.
Hadiths do teach us that if you try to straighten the rib, you break it. And breaking is not the goal. The goal is kindness, patience, and leaving the matter to Allah.
But here is the tragedy: by refusing to bend at all - by refusing to even consider that another perspective might hold truth - you are not protecting your dignity dear sisters. You are locking yourself into a posture that the next generation will look back on with regret.
Some just LIE!
I pray that the coming generation of Muslim women - our daughters, our nieces, our students - will be wiser. Not because they will be more pliable, but because they will be brave enough to examine both sides without fear.
They will see that refusing to engage is not strength; it is fragility in disguise. They will look at the mistakes of our time - the polarisation, the defensiveness, the refusal to see the otherside - and they will choose a different path InshaAllah.
They will bend enough to listen. And in that bending, they will find the strength that their mothers and grandmothers could not.
Let us not waste our energy trying to force what cannot be forced. Let us instead plant seeds for those who come after, and pray that they have the courage to see reality as it is -not as their EGO wishes it to be.
You are playing a dangerous game if you are transacting beauty for money in a relationship
As usually money compounds and grows over time and physical beauty depreciates. At this point in time the relationship will inevitably fail.
If I had to choose only one feeling I'd want to spend my life with, I'd choose safety not love.
Someone who would have my back against all odds.
Sleeping at night knowing I'd never wake up terrified by their absence Or by their abandonment.
Knowing they'd choose me above all,
Every single time without a pause without a doubt in every heartbeat keep choosing me .💗
Not having to constantly worry about the consequences of every word I say,
Or every step I take, Fearing their reaction.
Waking up every morning knowing I'll have to face the world, Only to come back to them at night with a story to tell, And a battle they'd help me win, Unconditionally.💗
