All things marriage

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Hiikol

Advice needed. So I ended a short engagement because of this. Well maybe not just because of this, but this is what gave me the biggest red flag.

I said that I'll protect, serve and provide for the family as required by a man in Islam (Qwamah) and I also mentioned that I would never ask my wife to work to provide for us so that we share 50/50 of the finances. And that I'd prefer my wife to stay at home without the burden of work, but I'm also open for her to work to fulfill her professional aspirations with the condition of her contributing from her salary to bridge the gap that her 9 to 5 work will cause towards her primary duties at home. The gap is bound to happen because of exhaustion, sadness, less time availability, etc. The contribution would go towards things like hiring a maid, or a nanny, or buying high end home appliances, or buying ready made food, etc. Basically things that would make a wife's life easier. What I thought was very fair and never thought would be a point of argument was met with direct rejection from her dad. She agreed with me initially.

I told her dad I'll think about it then called his daughter who changed her mind to say that her reason is that she has seen problems with other couples when the wife contributes financially. I replied, that I've also seen problems when the wife works full-time but we can make it work.

I then asked her a more important question, that what if you were working and I decided, due to legitimate reasons, that I want you to leave work and stay at home. What would you do? To which she replied that she wouldn't stay at home.

At that moment, all the feelings I had for her just vanished and I felt disappointed as I knew how religious she was and that she understood that Qawamah of the husband is conditioned upon obedience of the wife except in things that would displease Allah. And also that she understood that this would be considered Nushooz and is one of the biggest sins. I immediately ended the engagement and maybe I was a bit too quick (or maybe I wasn't) as I was going through emotional distress and sleep deprivation at the moment.

I basically felt like they are cherry picking what they like from the religion and leave the rest. Like basically they want me to protect, provide 100% (which i have no issue with), help with home duties, while she spends over half her awake time working outside, come home tired and exhausted like me, and contributes nothing. I explained that I want to come home to a relaxed and stress free wife that would take away my exhaustion and stress. And that her contribution from her salary will help her balance that.

Anyways, I don't wanna go on and on, but writing this down does help me from the over thinking in my mind, and the grieving phase I'm going through.

Any advice or constructive criticism (please be nice)?

People See The best version Of us, yet hate us.
Allah sees The worst version Of us And yet love us 💐

Salaam for everyone iam new muzz plate form i joined muzz app only for marrige not for time pass

I want to find a bride for marriage. My name is uzzal. I work in a youth group (executive commercial).

LADIES!! BEWARE!!
Men on this website lie about nothing but their height. I was almost believing that everything that's written is right but no I stalked two profiles here and on Instagram... The lies they tell you! Another reason to hate men and this app

Hi.

Doing a lil bio here, if this attracts you. Hmu

So my name is Mohamed, i am 25, I am 6ft 4. I am also mixed race (Algerian, Irish and Scottish.)

I am a general manager of a few properties/ airbnbs. I've got 4 siblings, I'm a funny kind , generous , soft hearted man.

My likes :
Daily random photos / videos of you without me asking
Fast replies
Car drives
Nature walks
Beach walks
Sunsets

Dislikes:
Long replies or no explanation as to why you can't answer
Liars
Not talkative
Not confident
Not funny
Can't carry a conversation
Someone to serious and can't take a joke

I m in Riyadh.... want seriouse relationship and marriage with muslim.