All things marriage

Why are some men insincere and not serious?

I think men must choose those women who shows equal or more effort. If she messages you message her back, if she calls you you call her back. Match her energy, don't chase her, don't follow her. A good woman will leave her delusions and try to settle down sooner, a damaged woman will find excuses and blamed men. Not saying men are perfect, I strongly agree that some mens behavior might make women scared to go out in public or reveal her residency.

What happened is these days women don't actually need men. They got government and corporates to make their own money plus police to protect. Further they get likes and matches from men all around the city or many cities or even countries. Their Dm Is always full so they can't connect with average man. The average man doesn't entice her, she is therefore choosing the next high value man or even better than him. This is why I say we're in a age of situationship and not relationship.

Internet has actually rewired our brains in ways we can't fully grasp. Our new generation grew up on iPad and iPhone. The future doesn't look more humane or bright to me.

Salaam
I am Shahira
Trying to find someone who can match my dreams ❤️

Alhamdulillah, i thank Allah for the sign-for letting red flags men come cross my path so i could see clearly right away.

A "red flag man" is considered as someone whose behavior shows he’s unsafe, dishonest, or disrespectful early on.
Allah often shows me through these signs so i don’t get in deeper.

1. The one who gives a fake identity or hides it Lies about job, age, marital status, past, religion, or family.
   If he starts with deception, trust is already broken. A man with nothing to hide won’t need a mask.
   Qur’anic principle:“...and do not mix the truth with falsehood...” [Al-Baqarah: 42]

2. Whose words don’t match his actions/background
   Says he’s “religious”, “respectful”, “ready for marriage”... but his actions, friends, or history say otherwise.
   Consistency = amanah. Inconsistency = manipulation.

The signs of a hypocrite are three: when he speaks he lies, when he promises he breaks it, when entrusted he betrays.”_ [HR. Bukhari]

3. Who pushes me to do his wishes
   Rushes physical boundaries, guilt-trips me, “if you love me you would…”, ask you to spend more time for him as no other important thing except him.
   A man with good adab will protect our haya and boundaries, not pressure them.

Rule:* Pressure is control. Invitation is respect.

4. Other common red flags to add:
5. Disrespects family or Allah first → How he treats his mom/sisters/Allah’s commands = how he’ll treat you later.
6. Anger issues / can’t control his temper → Kind when he wants something, cruel when he doesn’t get it.
7. No accountability, always blames others→ Never says “I was wrong.”
8. Secretive with his phone/life → Extreme privacy, not healthy boundaries.

Spotting red flags early is hidayah, not overthinking.
Btw,it also can be applied to check red flag woman either.

No need to be sad or offensive. It's a common thing we face at first phase of screening a future spouse n to get on the same wavelenght.
Keep trusting Allah..your destiny will find u at the perfect timing.

Remember "A kind word is charity".

"What is one piece of marriage advice from your parents' generation that you are happily throwing out the window?"

Muzz Reality 2026.

If you’re still talking about your ex, comparing everyone to your past, or carrying old pain into every conversation, you’re probably not ready for marriage.

We all go through different experiences, but instead of asking, “What do I need to improve about myself?” we often choose to criticize, blame, and generalize.

Heal first. Work on yourself first.

Stop saying “all men are bad” or “all women are bad.” Maturity begins when you take responsibility for your own growth, not someone else’s mistakes. 🤲

If you didn't set the sail then don't blame the wind☝️

I DON’T LIKE AMERICAN GIRLS! I hate them from my heart,🇧🇩⚡🇺🇲