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Don’t know if this is allowed but looking for a rishta for my friend she is 29, Sunni Muslim, hijabi, Single, working and living in Manchester. Civil service. She’s had bad experience on this app, if anyone is interested please respond thankyou.
Question to the guys 🔊
I want to ask the brothers here something because I’m genuinely trying to understand this dynamic better.
When I meet someone through an app or in a halal “getting to know each other” stage, things usually start with consistent messaging and clear interest. We go on a date or two, there’s good conversation, and in person everything feels intentional and serious.
But quite often the texting throughout is very inconsistent. Sometimes it drops to only messaging when planning the next meet-up. When I try to understand it, I’m often told, “this is just how I am, I’m not really a big texter.”
I’m struggling to understand how to interpret that.
From my perspective, I’m not expecting constant 24/7 messaging, but I do value some level of consistent check-ins or communication. Even something simple like: “I’m not a big texter, but I can call you for 10–15 minutes every day” or “I’m busy but I’ll check in every couple of days.” That would give clarity and intentionality.
What confuses me is this:
• If you are genuinely interested and pursuing someone, how does very minimal communication fit into that?
• Do men separate “real life interest” from “texting behaviour” in a way women are meant to just accept?
• Or is it that many men genuinely don’t see communication consistency as important at this stage?
I don’t see these men as unserious people overall - in person they often seem very intentional, sociable, and grounded. That’s why I find it confusing when their communication style feels very detached in between meetups.
For me, it creates uncertainty, and I start questioning compatibility and emotional availability early on.
I’m not trying to criticise anyone’s personality or demand constant attention - I’m just trying to understand what’s normal, what’s realistic, and how other people navigate this difference in expectations.
Would really appreciate honest perspectives from the brothers especially.
I’ve had Muzz for about a year and a half now and I’m genuinely mentally exhausted from it. Getting attention from men isn’t the issue - finding men actually eligible and prepared for marriage is.
And for me, it’s not even about salary, status, driving, or superficial things. What I keep running into is a lack of character, discipline, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, purpose, integrity, ambition, consistency, and even basic emotional depth. Above all else - intentionality.
A lot of people say they want marriage, but when you speak to them properly, they haven’t actually reflected on what marriage actually requires to be healthy and successful long term.
It feels like many people want the outcome of marriage without understanding the responsibility, emotional maturity, sacrifice, communication, regulation, and intentionality it actually takes to sustain one. Some people are lonely, some are bored, some are traumatised, some are fearful of commitment, and others seem to approach marriage like ticking off financial milestones is enough.
Even some of the men who initially seem aligned end up having deep fears around connection and vulnerability because they’re already convinced relationships are doomed to fail before they’ve even started. Constantly hearing things like “most marriages end in divorce” from people who supposedly want marriage is honestly draining.
Meanwhile, I know myself well. I know what I want, what I can offer, my negotiables and non-negotiables, the kind of home I want to build, and the type of partnership I’m trying to cultivate. I take marriage seriously and intentionally, and sometimes it genuinely feels like that level of intentionality is rare on these apps.
Anyway 😭 is this Jumma feature basically Muslim Reddit/Twitter? Because I’ve never activated it until now and I’m genuinely trying to understand what people actually get from it 😭 like what’s the appeal/benefit? Is it entertainment, validation, community, discourse, collective venting? I’m so intrigued.
Age difference matters when two people are in different stages of life. It’s not about judging anyone, but about being realistic. I prefer not to waste time where things don’t align naturally...
A h o e s last phase is religion
Who AGREES?? MASAAJIDS NEED TO MORE PROACTIVE IN CONNECTING PEOPLE FOR MARRIAGE PURPOSES??
I personally believe masaajids SHOULD have a big role to play and need to be more PROACTIVE.
It is a community issue and we are at CRISIS point across the age ranges I think.
Every masjid should have a marriage service??
👍🏽 or 👎🏽
Salaam everyone just a update on my experience with this app, so i spoke with a few girls on here and like i said in my previous post they are all just wasting my time and energy by lying and talking to many other guys while talking to me, this is why I have no interest in investing my time on this app