Poetry

"When I Stopped Being the First"

I stopped being the first to take a step.
I stopped being the first to start a conversation.
I stopped being the first to make a move.

I didn't stop because I was hurt.
I stopped because I no longer had the strength to keep trying.

Now, I simply wait.
Quietly watching,
wondering who will one day
be the owner of my heart.

A man who bend steel, but hold me gently...❤️✨️

The Gift of Love

Give me your heart,
I’ll whisper pretty words to it,
Wrap a bow around the cage you keep it in,
Protected by bones of hate and stubbornness,
Tend to it with love and care,
Surround it with my own softness,
Guard it with my life.

I’ll watch with bated breath,
As the poison seeps out of it,
And hold onto hope,
As it’s shrivelled, blackened form,
Is renewed with life,
My own blood pumped into it,
Weakening me in the process.

I’ll loosen the knot,
That suspends the cage in midair,
Little by little,
Until it unravels,
Learning your secrets,
As you bare your soul,
And fall, fall, fall.
For me.

And the door will open,
You’ll be ready to receive,
The gift of a good heart,
Our love intertwining,
More securely than the knot,
That held you hostage.

But will you protect my heart,
Like I did yours?
Will you show care,
If I fall short?
Will you speak kind words,
That nurture my soul?
Will you fill my cup,
As I filled yours?
Will you return the love,
I breathed into you?

‘ I’m a damaged soul. I need healing too.
I attract damaged souls, whom I give my healing to. ‘

How can my heart feel broken
when I’m the one pulling away?
How can my mind stay open
when jealousy floods my ways
every day?

I thought I was better than this,
wiser, stronger… but hey,
I guess you made everything
that made me me
melt away.

And then there’s what’s left of me,
undone from all that I am
naked,
and afraid.

Too scared to commit,
too scared to stay.
Too scared of the pain
that I know awaits.

Because once I start falling,
there’s no other way.
My heart dives deep,
and there’s no more escape,
just a thousand shards
scattered in the wake.

I tell myself, “Be free.”
“Let love just be.”
But freedom feels hollow
when you’re not with me.

And yet,
here I am today
half open,
half closed,
half whole,
half frayed.

Longing for touch,
Craving for grace,
afraid to be seen,
but starving for your face.

And though I ache,
I will be free.
For love like this
still lives in me

I can’t help you

I can’t help you
Only He can

The most I can do
Is gift you your karma
You reap what you sow
Your own destiny farmer

I wrap my past in a box
With a set of instructions
Put a bow on it wrap it up
That’s your future construction

You want to blame me
& the world for your pain
But the chaos you feel
Is all internal, insane

I’m sorry I walked away
I have my own challenges to train
I realised my power is limited
Don’t hate the messenger
Hate the game

Love is prohibited

Eyes are full of tears,
My heart is broken into pieces
The pain is unbearable.

Life is not very long,
Yet so many years have already passed.

The rest of my life
I’ll spend with my pain,
Failure follows me everywhere;
Only pain is left with me.

My heart cannot love again;
Love is prohibited.

I myself am made entirely of flaws, stiched together by good intentions.

Is it true that sad people make the most bomb poetry ?

"Between Wanting and Fear"

I reach with open hands,
yet my feet refuse to move.

I chase my dreams,
while fear arrives before I do.

The thing I long for
is the very thing that frightens me most.

Not because I do not want it,
but because every hope
carries the shadow of loss.

My heart whispers,
"Go."

My mind replies,
"What if everything falls apart?"

So I remain,
caught between desire and fear,
punishing myself
with choices never made.

Perhaps one day,
I will learn that courage
is not the absence of fear,
but the decision to keep walking
even when fear walks beside me.