Mental health

The Invisible Backpack
A little boy came home from school with his backpack still on.
His mother smiled and said,
"You can take it off now."
He looked at her with surprise.
"I forgot I was still carrying it."
For a moment, I wondered how many of us do the same with our minds.
We carry yesterday's embarrassment.
A careless comment from years ago.
A mistake we have already learned from.
A disappointment we never truly put down.
At first, we carry these things because they hurt.
Then, we carry them because they become familiar.
After a while, we stop noticing the weight.
Psychology teaches us that the mind can grow used to almost anything, even burdens that were never meant to stay.
Perhaps that is why healing can feel so unfamiliar.
Not because we are losing a part of ourselves...
But because we are finally putting down a weight we forgot we were carrying.
Maybe the hardest part of healing is not learning how to carry more.
Maybe it is remembering that some burdens were never ours to carry forever.

What's your motivation when things aren't going well

Dating gets a lot less stressful when you stop treating every new man like he might be your husband and start treating him like someone who still has to earn a place in your peaceful life 🙃🙃

I think what I’ve learned from this “talking stage” from both sides is that one side exposes your insecurities. It might be from not getting a like or reply back and feeling not good enough.. or the constant feeling of abandonment and fear of loss. Then there’s the other side that houses the constant need for reassurance and comfort. It highlights the emotional roller coaster of feeling so many emotions that you no longer feel like you have a purpose. Without purpose it feels like you start lacking motivation. Then without motivation, you lose your sense of self and confidence. That same lack of confidence is shown when you feel nervous and anxious when talking to someone. You wait for them to say or do something wrong or you second guessing what to say or do. You no longer are happy with your profile, selfies, bio, and etc because you feel like there is no point. The attraction from others does not guarantee the right type of attention. Then you lose trust in the process and all it does it make you feel like you are wasting your energy and time. That same feeling is enchanted by the pressure to fill the void of loneliness and needing to be chosen by the ones that you feel is the most compatible. Which is also often mocked by society as ill intentions to make you feel worse. You end up losing yourself in the what ifs and what abouts and no longer are consent with your current life choices. You look too far into the future and can’t live with your present. That same present you feel you have to be defensive of.. to hide the feeling of failure. When in reality you are losing a game that was set up for you to fail. When the game was for you to build a life like a little sim and all it ended up doing was make you question your own character and place in this world. When really this world was never meant for you to feel like you belong. The world lies to you about being unfit because nobody fits like a puzzle piece. We are just pieces that exist and the full story doesn’t end while we are here. Yet the stress of success is our greatest weakness, just like the need to impress and belong.

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐛𝐞 𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞

They often think:
I’m not good enough
Everyone else is better than me

It might look like:
Ignoring red flags
Choosing others over self
Staying in spaces that don’t feel good

They might:
Say yes when they want to say no
Let people interrupt or disrespect them
Try to please people

Most important how they treat themselves:
Skip meals or neglect sleep
Speak harshly to themselves
Compare themselves constantly
Think rest is “lazy”
Believe they are not worthy / or deserve nice things
Have trouble being consistent about say something which will benefit them
ETC

People with high empathy often apologize for things that were never their fault.

I try to be understanding
but I have feelings too.

Since i am fond of writing, i happen to always write once i feel so much noise in my head. It’s like a coping mechanism.

To whoever read this, i hope this find you in a very positive light and also brings you something positive.

Truthfully, in my late 20s i have been contemplating for my life choices. Some are regrettable, some are worth to be proud of. I mourned for the wrong choices i made but it also the things that makes me grow as a person. I gained wisdom and resilience from the sorrows in my life. I always cocoon myself in a shell to protect my heart but then i tried to stepped out, it did shatter me in a hundred different ways but until today i still stand in my own feet, trying to look out for more possibilities i might experience.

I think i always yearn to be genuinely received love. Sure, my family gives me so much, but i think it would be different matters once you feel it from the person you cherish the most. I remembered when i was 14, i developed a puppy love. A kind young man from Casablanca was giving me the memories. It doesn’t last so long because he thought he won’t be cruel enough to fool me with false hope, instead he kept me as being friends. It was memorable since it was the first time i received gifts overseas, the handwriting letter, the post card. Right until i hit early 20s he still in touch with me, telling me his bad days and his first year studied in Quebec. But life changes, he gets busy, so do i. I did remember all my friends and the virtual friends i made. I was happy seeing one of my virtual friend who fond of Guitar married a Thai girl. I did feel disappointed by the Slovenian who constantly called me and accompanied my Ramadan only to ghost me with no explanation later.

Even after long dedicated almost six years i gave a man wings to fly. I forgave repeated mistake, i thought i was wise and be the bigger person. I always see the good side and wish they will willingly correct their behavior. I picked him up from his darkness, only for him to leave me the moment he saw the light. So i say again “ah, so it always end like this, is it? No one were really honest with themselves and genuine. They left again.”

I reflect again, I contemplated a lot. Even when i drive to work, my head isn’t on the silent mode. Maybe i look like an open book, too easy to be read. Or maybe i was a whole library that seems interesting enough to explore, but never a place people intended to stay.

If love ever finds me, I will welcome it with an open heart. But if it never does, I hope my life is still measured by the kindness I leave behind, the care I gave my parents, the compassion I showed strangers, the lives I made gentler. Death will come when it comes, as it does for everyone. When that day arrives, I only hope to greet it having made peace with the life I was given and i wish i am prepared enough and welcome them with the repent and my sins has been redeemed.

There's a system in your brain called the RAS. It filters millions of signals every day.

What you consistently focus on becomes what your brain prioritizes. Train your attention toward health, purpose, connection, and possibility, and your brain will start looking for them.

I'm sick of this app; it's the same thing every time, u make a video call and they don't look like their pics 🤡🤦🏽‍♀️