Psychology & Neurodiversity

Anxiety in spouse search + Qadr

Anxiety in searching for marriage sounds like:

"What if I never find anyone?"

"What if I mess this up?"

"What if they leave like the last one?"

Islam's answer: Surah 57:22-23

"No disaster strikes upon the earth or among yourselves except that it is in a register before We bring it into being... so that you do not despair over what has eluded you."

If they leave (or the potential doesn't proceed)
it was never your final destination.
If it misses you; it was never your rizq.
Anxiety lives in the illusion of control.
Peace lives in surrendering to Qadr.

You don't need to control the outcome.
You just need to:

1. Make effort (within halal means — involve your wali, chaperoned meetings, clear intentions)

2. Make du'a

3. Make tawakkul

And trust the One who writes the story

I feel bad when I get into the rhythm with someone, But then when you see them, they look different from their profile picture. So now they have all these feelings but now I'm not interested.

I can only imagine how they feel about themselves. Meaning that they feel like that they are ugly, but they're not. They just don't suite me.

This is why it's important for us to be authentic. Nowadays many things are just an illusion. From the pictures and the filters that go with them, the bodies and the bbls that come with them. The face that comes with the makeup.
Thoughts?

Maybe Life will become peaceful when we switch from Expect to Accept.

I suffer from social anxiety
Anyone can give me tips 🙂

neuroplasticity is a sign that you can change the story of your life anytime, regardless of your past

Sometimes, knowing someone more deeply doesn't bring us closer.....
It simply helps us see more clearly that our paths were never meant to go the same distance.....

Secure attachment = Tawakkul

Psychology says: Secure attachment means you trust your partner will return, you don't panic when they're distant, and your worth isn't dependent on their validation.

Islam says: "And whoever puts their trust in Allah, then He is sufficient for them." (Quran 65:3)

When your tawakkul is strong, you don't chase, cling, or crumble when someone pulls away.
You know your rizq (including a spouse) is in Allah's hands, not theirs.

Surah 51:22: "In heaven is your provision."
That includes love. That includes them or someone better.

Desperation smells like fear.
Serenity smells like tawakkul.

Build your attachment to Allah first.
Every other attachment will follow or fall away without breaking you.

https://youtube.com/channel/UCWv1Zz4AeX9FePr989xm2Hw?si=xAbnuxHK_e8M9oBM