All things marriage

Why do some people join marriage apps when they have no intention of getting married?

“Social media standards will ruin your married life.”

Lately, if you scroll through social media, you’ll find endless “relationship advice” from so-called experts. Most of it sounds appealing, powerful even, but if you really think about it, much of it is built on unrealistic expectations. You’ll hear things like “never settle,” “don’t lower your standards,” and you start believing that this is how marriage is supposed to be.

Let’s be honest.
Yes, you shouldn’t lower your standards. But your standards need to be realistic. And more importantly, they need to align with your values, not with what the internet glorifies. As Muslims, we know that no life in this dunya is perfect. So why are we chasing perfection in marriage?

You are flawed. The person you marry will be flawed. That is the reality.

But social media has changed how we see effort.
Everything is now labeled as “bare minimum.”
If he remembers something you like, it’s bare minimum.
If he surprises you with something small, it’s bare minimum.
If he tries in his own way, it’s still called bare minimum.
And slowly, appreciation dies.

Because you stop looking at why something is done. Even if the action seems small, the intention behind it matters. Effort done with love should never be reduced to “nothing.”

Another dangerous standard is tying love to material things.
A villa, a luxury car, designer bags, expensive gifts… all labeled as “princess treatment” or “queen treatment.” These ideas are constantly pushed, and slowly they enter our mindset. You begin to believe that this is what love looks like.

But since when did money become the measure of love?

If he doesn’t buy you something expensive, does that mean he doesn’t care? If he cannot provide luxury, does that make him less of a husband?
This is how unrealistic expectations are built.

Then comes one of the most popular statements:
“If he wanted to, he would.”
It sounds powerful, but it’s often misunderstood.

Yes, effort matters. But this statement has been twisted into expecting someone to meet every unspoken expectation you have. You expect him to think like you, feel like you, understand you without communication.
That’s not love. That’s an unrealistic demand.
No one can read your mind. Communication is part of a healthy relationship. Expecting someone to “just know” everything will only lead to disappointment.

Another idea being pushed is:
“Never compromise. Always choose yourself.”
But marriage, by definition, requires compromise.

Not in cases of abuse or oppression, but in everyday life. Small disagreements, differences in personality, habits, preferences these are normal. If you refuse to bend even a little, the relationship breaks.
Because think about it.
You have your moods. Your emotional ups and downs. Your difficult days.

Does that mean your partner should walk away from you too?

Marriage is not about constantly choosing yourself. It is about learning when to give, when to be patient, when to forgive.

Another unrealistic expectation is emotional perfection.
Expecting your partner to always be understanding, always romantic, always emotionally available, always saying the right thing.
But people are not robots.
They have bad days. They get tired. They fall short.
And you do too.
So how can you expect perfection from someone when you yourself cannot maintain it?

Then there’s this mindset being subtly promoted:
“Women are the prize. We are above them. We should be chased endlessly.”
Yes, a woman should be valued. She should be respected.

But turning that into arrogance or superiority destroys balance.

Marriage is not a competition. It is not about who has more power.
It is a partnership.
Two people building, adjusting, growing together.
Social media also turns marriage into a fantasy.
Perfect dates. Perfect gifts. Perfect reactions.

But what you don’t see are the arguments, the sacrifices, the financial struggles, the emotional moments, the patience it takes to stay.
Real marriages are built on things far deeper than what is shown online.
Trust. Loyalty. Patience. Understanding.

You might see couples with less money but more contentment. Couples who argue but still choose each other every day. Couples who don’t have a “perfect life” but have a strong bond.

That is reality.

So don’t let social media fool you.
Don’t let it make you believe that marriage is a fairytale where everything goes your way.
Don’t let it teach you selfishness in the name of self-worth.
Because if both people enter a marriage with that mindset, constantly choosing themselves, constantly expecting perfection, constantly comparing…

There will be no marriage left to protect.
Instead, build your understanding on reality.
Appreciate effort. Communicate clearly. Accept imperfections.

Because a strong marriage is not built on unrealistic standards.
It is built on two imperfect people who choose each other, again and again, despite everything.

Be aware cuties🙌🏼
If a man tells his family about you: And even if you talk to his mother and sister, and his entire family knows about you, don't trust a man and move forward in the journey of your dreams. He will throw you from such a height that you will not be able to get up for the rest of your life.

Asalamualaikum
I am a muslim but I do wear western clothes and that doesn't mean I don't follow islam i follow rest of the part but wearing burkha or hijab is not a part of my culture I feel the purpose of wearing burkha is to hide ourselves from men so if we are unsafe from men actually men should be thought to not look at a woman in a wrong way. Rather then covering up women.
What do you think of this though.
Also in 2026 do we still judge people's faith in religion through their dressing?
Are we human capable of judging others isn't that a sin to judge others?

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