All things marriage

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What makes a good wife !

If you could describe yourself with an emoji what would it be?
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Assalamualikum everyone!

I’m a software engineer from India. I’ve been studying, working, and living in the U.S. for more than six years. I’m 29, 5'7", take good care of myself, have a stable, well-paying job, and am religious. I’m regular with my prayers, don’t smoke or drink, and have never been in a relationship.. Yet I find it so difficult to even match with someone who seems like a good match but at the same time, I see people casually dating multiple people, looking for multiple wives, and all kinds of other stuff. I’m genuinely curious what am I missing here?

It’s okay if there is something missing from my profile. My friends who are better at lot other things are going through the same and ironically I see so many posts here from people saying there isn’t a single profile worth considering.. can someone enlighten me if people here are actually looking for a life partner, or has this platform mostly become a place to vent about marriage or talk about one another?

If I reach out to Americans - they say I’m here for Greencard
If I reach out to other ethnicities - they say we are culturally very different
If I reach out to Indians- they ask are you from North/South
If I reach out to South Indian - they ask are you from my city? And this is never ending 🤦🏻‍♂️

To Women - Please don’t hesitate to dm me if you think we would be a good match, I will not think any less of you. I am serious about marriage. This is my final cry out for marriage.

My intro-
Born Muslim. I am 34, 6 ft US citizen, South Asian descent. I don’t smoke or drink, food and health conscious, I have my own place and I am financially stable Alhamdulillah. Ask me more.

I think after so many months on this app and talking to women all across the world. I think I would prefer someone-

1. who’s a US citizen who don’t need sponsorship, and is willing to marry Islamically only, you can choose your mahr (if it gives you peace of mind, maybe some amount every year so you can put them in your own savings account every year)
2. who’s a revert (my mom is one) and I don’t have a strong network so someone in similar situation who wanna our own network.
3. who is non judgmental and don’t show off, someone who is modest and simple minded in her way of thinking.
4. someone who’s younger than me or similar to my age, preferably with no kids. I am 34, never married and no kids.
5. someone who has a strong sense of commitment for marriage, one who wants to marry forever, one who believes in fighting for the marriage and staying together.

with the help of recent discussion with a brother I was able to discover my way of life -

I believe in the oneness of Allah swt, there is no doubt in my heart and I believe in Allah swt with all my heart, when I say this I mean before doing any act, be it small or big like eating, sleeping, leaving the house, etc I remember Allah swt. I have strong tawakkul and I believe whatever Allah swt does is for my good. I don’t smoke drink avoid all major sins, don’t have social media, I always lower my gaze. I do struggle with prayers, and whenever I am at a moment in my life where I need to decide something, I refer to the Quran and do istikhara and make the decision. I feel like Allah swt has given us the ultimate guidance which is the Quran to lead our lives the right way.

I work in tech and I am a program manager. I have my own place, I am old school and I believe it’s the man’s job to protect and provide for the family, I prefer my wife not to work but if she’s really getting bored and wants to work, I would want her to work in a non competitive environment so she’s at peace all day. Whatever she earns can be put towards savings.
I will not comment on mahr, it’s her that needs to decide and let me know, my understanding is that men cannot suggest/influence the mind of the women when she’s deciding mahr, she can decide first and if I can afford it then we can move forward.

I wanna get married because at least once in my lifetime I want to experience what love feels like, I do feel lonely at times, I am ok to die alone but I feel the emptiness inside me. I feel like I have a lot of love to give but no one to give it to.
A happy marriage to me is someone who loves me and chooses me everyday over everyone else. So seeing a smile on my wife’s face would make me happy.

Being a good husband to me would mean not to break the trust of my wife that she has placed in me and doing right by her.
Along with the basic rights which is food, shelter, clothes and expenses. I think the rights would be to support her emotionally and have her back always.

The way I like to discuss things- I think I would love to talk and discuss things with my wife in future because you get a different perspective than yours, but the way the decision making needs to happen is by using logic and reasoning and of course halal in any situation.
I have no problem apologizing if I have committed a mistake. if I hurt someone I don’t want to be standing in front of Allah swt without the persons forgiveness on the day of judgement.

Hiiibili
Bolo

Hi