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Arranged marriage is scary. What if she has male best friends.
As salaamu alaikum. I’m reflecting on a recent conversation, and I’m interested to hear y’all’s takes…
👇🏽 Here’s the scene:
• You have children. Your potential spouse has children. Developmentally speaking, all of the children are in the same age/space.
• Neither of you want to delay nikkah unnecessarily, but you both also agree that decisions should be made that is mindful of the children’s collective experience.
• In lieu of setting a strict “timeline” for marriage, you prefer a more creative approach: Assigning a number of milestones to be met between the two families to ensure everyone involved feels seen, supported, safe, and ready for the families to blend in nikkah.
💭 What kind of activities, milestones, conversations, or other forms of familiarization would you put on your ideal list?
I will address both men and women equally, because they are on this app for one goal: marriage, and building a serious relationship based on love and respect.
If one of the two parties is even 10% convinced of the person they are talking to, and this conviction is in seeking Allah’s pleasure, then that 10% can overcome the remaining 90%.
But unfortunately, often the conviction is 90%, and then 10% of doubt comes and destroys the whole 90%. What a pity!
All humans are full of mistakes and flaws, but we should close one eye and open the other. We shouldn’t open both eyes, because no human is perfect.
Let us build love and respect upon the prophetic method and the path of Allah Almighty, and let it be the foundation.
The goal should not be interests, vast wealth, and material riches. The goal should be to build a safe, stable family founded on affection and respect from day one, so that we can build a future and a society free from problems and defects.
If a person only looks at wealth and money, the relationship will be shorter than they expect.
But if love is built from the start on piety, respect, appreciation, and alignment with Allah’s pleasure, then the relationship will last and be built on a family foundation that does not easily collapse.
Answer me, my brothers and sisters, by Allah I am confused. I see many single women who are 90% satisfied with a person, yet 10% of doubt overcomes that 90%!
What kind of superstition is this?! A person must be content with what Allah has decreed and allotted.
And if you are convinced of the person in their religion, mind, creed, respect, and manners, then let them come forward without hesitation or reservation.
And if a person comes forward built on the piety of Allah and respect, then the woman should accept him.
And if you are looking at the material side and he is also looking at the material side, then this relationship will not be built, and even if it is, it will not last. Alas for the servants, alas for what we have neglected regarding Allah.
All I can say is: “I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah.”
The Tactics a Female Malignant Narcissist Uses to Entrap You
Love Bombing
She may overwhelm you with attention, affection, praise, and declarations of a special connection very early in the relationship. The goal is often to create intense emotional attachment before trust has been earned.
Mirroring
She may reflect your interests, values, goals, and personality traits back to you, creating the impression of extraordinary compatibility and understanding.
Creating Emotional Dependency
She may gradually position herself as your primary source of validation, support, and emotional security, making it harder for you to maintain independence.
Intermittent Reinforcement
She may alternate between affection and withdrawal, approval and criticism. This unpredictability can keep you focused on regaining the positive attention you once received.
Gaslighting
She may deny previous statements, rewrite events, or challenge your memory and perceptions, causing you to question your judgment and confidence.
Playing the Victim
She may portray herself as constantly mistreated or misunderstood, using sympathy and guilt to discourage accountability and make you feel responsible for her emotional well-being.
Triangulation
She may involve other people—such as ex-partners, friends, coworkers, or admirers—to create jealousy, competition, or insecurity.
Boundary Testing
She may begin with small violations of your boundaries and gradually push further, assessing what behavior you will tolerate.
Future Faking
She may make grand promises about the future, including marriage, family plans, shared goals, or long-term commitments, without any consistent intention of following through.
Devaluation
Once you become emotionally invested, she may shift from admiration to criticism, finding fault with your appearance, choices, abilities, or character.
Isolation
She may subtly or directly encourage distance between you and supportive friends, family members, or other important relationships.
Projection
She may accuse you of behaviors, motives, or intentions that more accurately describe her own actions, shifting blame and creating confusion.
Smear Campaigns
If challenged or rejected, she may attempt to damage your reputation by spreading misleading or false information to others.
Control Through Fear, Obligation, and Guilt
She may use emotional pressure, guilt, threats of abandonment, or dramatic reactions to influence your decisions and behavior.
Maintaining the Trauma Bond
By cycling between affection and mistreatment, she may create a powerful emotional attachment that makes leaving the relationship feel unusually difficult despite ongoing harm.
Recognizing the Pattern
The strongest warning signs are often persistent confusion, loss of self-confidence, walking on eggshells, feeling responsible for another person’s emotions, and noticing that their actions consistently fail to match their words.
It’s important to remember that these behaviors are not exclusive to women. Manipulative and abusive relationship patterns can be displayed by people of any gender. What matters is the behavior, not the label.
Alhamdulillah beautiful day out in Blackpool ☀️ with my kids
I must say last 2 times I’ve been it’s definitely getting better as in clean, there definitely staying on top of that beach now
My name is Shoaib from burewala. I'm single. I'm looking for life partner